Back Home to Cherokee

Here we are again!  I've never lived here, but coming to my mom's house is like coming home.  So many good times here.  As we climb up and down the last mountain and get nearer, memories rise up wispy and fleeting in my mind, like the smoke on the mountains. I think of the time we introduced our girls to family, first Arielle, then Liana.  Our South Carolina land fiasco that devastated us, but still brought us together with family who helped us get through it.  So many long talks with my mom in her living room.  Sharing life crossroads with my brothers. And I always go back to that memory of my first visit here alone when I was falling apart.  It was fall, cold and cloudy, the mountains ominous like the direction I was heading.  My sister Kelly, so young then, drove me all around on these steep roads, she and my mom reminding me of who I was--loved and accepted no matter what.  I will be forever grateful to them both for what they did for me on that trip.

Finally today we pull up in Grandma's gravel driveway and there she is on the ramp welcoming us once again!  The girls run up for hugs and we come into her peaceful little home for lots of talk and good food.  Home is where you are loved, isn't it?  We talk on into the evening and Kelly and her daughter and granddaughter arrive and there is more fun and laughter.  I feel an even deeper connection to my sister now that we are older and have shared so much through the years.

The next day we visit the old tourist shops in town and remember other vacations.  We stroll through the Mountain Farm Museum at the base of the majestic Smokies and learn how the white settlers came to the area and lived.  My people living in this beautiful place, sheltered by towering mountains and refreshed by cool streams.  Later my niece Alex and her boyfriend take us to the Oconaluftee Indian Village, an outdoor living history museum and we hear lectures on how the Cherokees lived on this land in the 1800's before their removal.  Again, my people, the ancient settlers.  I'm glad to have time with my niece, this little girl all grown up, so much a part of every visit to North Carolina.  She has a child of her own, an adorable child bringing much joy to our family. I think of how one day my daughters might bring their own children here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the evening we take our traditional trip into Sylva to visit "Grandma's Walmart."  Yes, we have one right down the street from us in Pennsylvania, but it's not the same as Grandma's!  Then over to eat at Ryan's.  We fill our plates many times, not just for the food, but to prolong our good time here.

Harper's Ferry and South

After Gettysburg, we had to get to 81 in Virginia to make our way south.  I did some calculations and realized it would only be an extra 20 minutes of driving if we stopped in Harper's Ferry.  I've wanted to visit this town for quite some time.  Its history is fascinating, from George Washington who persuaded Congress to establish an armory and arsenal there to John Brown's attempt to raid that armory and seize weapons in an effort to end slavery.  People thought Brown was crazy, but many think he got our nation's attention and brought about the Civil War.  Later the town established Storer College to educate former slaves. 

Today it is HOT in Harper's Ferry!  There are many interesting buildings and museums to explore, but none of them are air-conditioned. We visit a few and then walk across the Potomac on a metal bridge that made Fred queasy.  It is too hot to really enjoy any activities and Fred is anxious to hit the road because it is going to be a long driving day.  We don't stay long.

Soon we get on 81 in Winchester.  So many memories from previous trips to Grandma's house when the girls were little!  I think we've visited every Cracker Barrel on this highway at some point in time.  Arielle still loves the little golf tee game while we wait for a meal.  The girls used to explore the toy section and choose some little stickers to keep them busy after they got back in our big green van that had the pull down VHS player.  Fred and I would listen to Barney or Disney princesses as we rode along.  Someone gave us a DVD player to borrow for this trip, but the girls aren't interested.  They are listening to music on their ipods or playing bingo or the license plate game.  No fair!  I can't see well enough to read the plates before Fred does.  He wins every time.  The girls seem to really be enjoying each other's company this time and that makes everyone happy.

We drive as far as the Max Meadows/Fort Chiswell exit in Virginia.  We find a nice hotel and explore the area.  It takes us about one minute to drive through Max Meadows.  I find out later it has a population of 562.  We see a restaurant--Cinco de Mayo Mexican Grill.  Sounds good, and it's the grand opening too!  So we are met at the door by big burly Mexican men who go out of their way to make sure we have a great time.  The décor makes you smile just walking in.  Colorful, whimsical folk art adorns the tables and chairs. It is a fun dinner and the food is fabulous, many varieties of enchiladas made with CORN tortillas!  We like this restaurant so much we stop for lunch on the way home.  The guys seem happy to see us again and even pose for a picture.

We have a great breakfast to start off our next day of driving and the girls enjoy the hotel like they always have--riding on the luggage cart, fighting over who gets to open the door with the electronic key, and swimming in the pool.  They love all the same things even though they are big girls now.  I am thankful to have this special time with them and with Fred once again. 

 
 

Vacation!

 

We haven't gone down south in two years.  Down south is where my extended family lives and I have been missing everyone.  So the next few posts will be a travelogue of our vacation--not too exciting for most readers.  For now I write for Arielle and Liana because they were there and I want them to remember the good times we had.

We left right after the Moore, Oklahoma, tornado.  The images were still vivid in my mind.  I think of the people I saw on TV, their land, their accents, and it is all too familiar. We lived in Mustang in the 80's, about 15 miles from Moore.  I remember the sirens when a tornado was bearing down, the green, angry sky and the fierce winds howling through the house.  No basement, no place to hide.  We got lucky.  The closest touch-down during that time was 8 miles from us.

This day it is great to hit the road and put all that behind us.  Instead of going west, then south, we decide to take a diagonal to 81, stopping in Gettysburg.  It's our favorite nearby vacation spot.  We stop at the visitor's center (again) and then take the auto-tour (again).  It is hot and humid today, so that puts a damper on our desire to get out and walk around the battlefield. The girls want to climb one of the towers though, so we stop there.  Fred never climbs it as he hates heights, but I always do.  Today it is difficult.  Am I so old I can't do this?  Then I realize it has nothing to do with strength and endurance.  It's all about the heat.  It's not just uncomfortable but a health risk for me since I had a heat stroke years ago.  But I made it up, just more slowly than before, all 9 flights of steps.  The view was spectacular!

We ate dinner at Ping's, our very favorite Chinese restaurant, and shopped at Peebles, our favorite store.  Then we found an exhibit we've never visited before--The Lincoln Train Museum.  Fred is a railroad buff and I knew he would enjoy this.  We were the only tourists there and so we were able to take our time and enjoy all the historical information and artifacts.  There is a huge model train display, kind of like the Choo-Choo barn in Strasburg, but most interesting for me was the memorabilia from Lincoln's life, including many photos of him before he was President.  We watched a video about his funeral train as it crossed the country from Washington, D.C. back to Illinois for his burial.  Fascinating stuff.  I can't imagine any other President has ever had such devotion.  In every town where the train stopped, thousands came out to pay their respect. 

After an evening of swimming and a good night's sleep, we were ready for a day of driving. 
 

Blessed with Family!

Could life get any better?  I don't think so.  What a glorious long Mother's Day weekend with my dear and precious family.  I am so grateful to God for all you people who bless my life every day.

Friday night was my granddaughter Laci's 5th birthday party.  We all gather at Nick's house for good food and family time.  Cousins!  The bigger kids run off to play and the adults enjoy the babies.  So many babies!  Even Dominic and Stacia are here with baby Caden, meeting his family for the first time.  Joey is running around chasing the dog and we pass Jordan around to love on her.  Deacon can't be caught so after chasing him around for a hug, we give up.

Saturday Dominic and I head to a greenhouse for a gift for Stacia--her first Mother's Day.  I am so glad to have some time with my son on this beautiful spring day.  Later all of us head to Valley Forge for a walk.  So many memories here!  When we first moved to Pennsylvania from the barren plains of Oklahoma, we would come here often, my little boys and I, marveling at the autumn colors.  The pictures in my mind come to me like ghosts.  Walking through the overgrowth of foliage under the train track so we can see the river.  The boys excitedly running in and out of the log cabins.  Our fearful single file hike down a busy road when we lost the trail through the woods.  I recognize one particular tree where we collected leaves one fall. We wore the giant leaves like hats and the boys jumped joyfully in the crunchy pile. Blond little Jonathan with his Care Bear sitting right over there on the rail fence, my sister beside him.  Deanah is gone now; the fence remains.

Today we make new memories. The family wants to explore Washington's house, so I take baby Caden and walk along the creek, whispering to him until he is asleep.  I tell him how much I love him and how one day I will tell him the story of his first visit here. 

The next day is Mother's Day!  Fred has to usher at church, I so get up early and make breakfast for all the dear people sleeping in this house.  Arielle and Liana present me with gifts and homemade cards that I will treasure and keep forever.  We have a surprise visit from Anthony, Kim and Joey, and our kids filling the kitchen with laughter and talk gives me great joy.  We look through an old photo album and pause at a picture of very young me with my newborn Nicholas.  I look in the faces of those gathered around this table and think, who would ever have guessed back then that I would have ALL THIS? 

The next day Jon, Chrissy and Lana come over and we have a celebratory taco dinner.  They have just come from a doctor's appointment and have new ultrasound pictures.  The new baby is a girl!  Grandchild #10!  But the excitement never fades or grows old.  We can't wait to meet this new person who will join this big, crazy family and who will be so loved by all.

You with little ones right now in the midst of sleepless nights and toddler defiance and runny noses--this is your heritage and your reward!  "Gray hair is a crown of glory..."  Proverbs 16:31.

Last Day of School

Well, not really the last day.  Arielle and Liana won't be finished totally until June.  But the 24 weeks at our co-op is over.  I believe we ended well.  I can't believe I really did all that teaching--considering how fearful I was last summer when I was anticipating all I had to do. 

The girls have flourished at their school.  They are more outgoing and confident.  I attribute this to the kind, loving kids here.  These kids are not clique-ish and are welcoming to everyone.  My daughters were fully loved and accepted, just as all the students are, no matter how quirky they are or how different they might be perceived by the world outside of school.  Arielle made a comment at the beginning of the year that all students here "could just be themselves." 

I found out Arielle and Liana have an inner drive to succeed in school.  They studied hard to complete what was expected of them.  Arielle gave a required speech and I was witness to her poise and assertiveness.  (So unlike me!)  The girls' attitudes toward their teachers were sometimes quite different from their attitude toward me as their teacher!  But that is good.  They are also somewhat competitive.  Little did I know.  I feel we have the best of both worlds right now.  They have this "school" experience in a safe environment, but they are also being homeschooled the way Fred and I long ago determined was best for them.

I also discovered this year that I love teaching. My students are vibrant, energetic kids who  get excited about science and learning. What really surprised me most was that many times other students would join our class unexpectedly during their free time.  We have laughed a lot in class this year and we've done some fun projects.  In physical science it was our cornstarch experiment that was the best.  It was supposed to simulate plastic rock, the proposed theory that a layer of our earth is made of a material like this.  The kids created quite a mess, but they were amazed by the special properties of this mixture and continued to play with it long after class was over.  When we studied electricity, I brought in a gadget Fred made when he was in school to become an electrician.  One boy was so interested in it that Fred let him keep it.

In biology, the awe-factor came from our microscopic study of pond life.  All the kids, including me, were fascinated by the unbelievably complex creatures that live unseen by our eyes.  We also dissected some larger animals, and I was surprised to see there wasn't the ick-factor I'd anticipated.  The kids had a sense of wonder about what lies beneath the skin.

For the first time I was the recipient of all those end-of-the-year teacher gifts--a handwritten card, miniature roses, homemade truffles.  But the laughter and joy in the classroom were the best gifts and I had that all year.

I've been asked to teach biology again and also anatomy and physiology.  My girls will likely take more classes next year at the school, and they are excited about that.  Seeing friends on a regular basis makes all the work worthwhile. 

For now we need to finish up here at home--the grammar, the algebra--those tedious subjects.  And then, I want to clean my house!  Can you imagine what it looks like after 9 months when cleaning is often neglected because other things take top priority?  Well, yes, many of you have seen it.

Back to work...

Baby Caden

So our train arrives and Dominic meets us at the Alexandria station.  How wonderful to see him! My son, now a father.  I long to see him in this role.  We quickly arrive at his beautiful home in Arlington.  And there are Stacia and Caden waiting for us!  My new grandson in my arms!  And Liana's!

 

The weekend is almost magical.  Dominic and Stacia's home is a quiet retreat.  It is light and airy and peaceful.  Sunlight streams throughout and the tall windows bring the outdoors in.  And the outdoors at this time of year is amazing!  Flowering trees adorn every home in the neighborhood--pink and white dogwood, redbuds and fluffy cherries.  Shrubs of all sorts are blooming; every home has an explosion of azaleas surrounding it.  Daffodils, tulips and hibiscus accent the lawns. At Dominic's house, a mother blue jay sits on a nest of five eggs within arm's reach of the front porch. The sky is bright blue and filled with bird song.  The fresh green of spring is dazzling.  New life outside, new life inside this house.  A precious baby boy has been born into our family.

The next day Dominic takes us to Capitol Hill, his old neighborhood before he had a wife and son.  We push baby Caden in his stroller on this bright spring day.  We stroll through a farmer's market and taste cheeses and fruit. We walk along the streets and Dominic goes inside a shop to buy us special coffee.  I hold my tiny grandson tight against me, wrapping my jacket around him in the chilly wind.  A street musician plays a couple of children's songs just for Caden. Liana is soaking up the atmosphere, snapping dozens of pictures. She is unusually quiet, maybe like me, she is caught up in the magic. Later, Caden sleeps on my shoulder as we enjoy lunch at Chipolte and then I feed him his milk under a magnolia tree with shiny leaves as we drink real ginger ale that Dominic got for us.  Caden will not remember this day, but I will--always.

And the day is not over.  That evening Dominic and Liana prepare dinner while I soothe Caden after his busy outing to the city.  Daylight is fading and Dominic puts on some music that adds to the tender moments of the day.  Caden is in my arms and I dance with him across the polished hardwood floors. Tears come as I think about tomorrow and saying good-bye to this sweet baby boy with the big blue eyes.  He will be so changed when I see him again.  I'm reminded of a Longfellow poem.  This night is a song and all the cares of the world slip away as I dance with my grandson.  There is peace in this house.

"Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares that infest the day
Shall fold their tents like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away."

Dominic and Liana present us with a feast--risotto cakes stuffed with leeks and bacon and mozzarella cheese, fresh green beans from the market we visited today, cucumber salad.  Stacia takes her baby so he can have his own feast, and then Caden sits peacefully on his mother's lap and I look around the table, wanting to hold this little family and this day in my heart forever. 

Someone once told me that every place you visit leaves a mark on your soul and you will never be the same.  Your eyes and your mind are filled with new sights and sounds and you are forever changed.  It's true.  I'm grateful for this weekend. 


 

Trains

Liana and I are heading off for our grand adventure.  We're going to visit Dominic, Stacia and baby Caden in Arlington. Poor Arielle has been sick and can't go. She is disappointed but she and Fred have other adventures planned.

In light of the events in Boston, Fred and Arielle escort us to the big city station. Fred wants to make sure we board the right train safely. We actually find it is quite easy to take the local train to the Amtrak station where you can go anywhere in the country.  I haven't ridden Amtrak since my father died and I headed down to North Carolina for his memorial service. Maybe that ride back home is on my mind because I am just a little uneasy about train travel this day. Back in 1987 an Amtrak train crashed in Chevy Chase, Maryland, and I was on the train just behind it. We were delayed for hours and ended up boarding buses to our destinations.  Today, the armed men with dogs and guns roaming the station add to my anxiety.

Also, due to events in Boston and that train station closed down, our train is very late.  By the time it finally arrives, people have had plenty of time to become impatient and rude.  Even though we have been standing in line so long, a belligerent man has his way and we are at the end of the line to board.  The train is extremely crowded. Liana and I walk car to car, dragging our suitcases behind us.  There are no seats together, and there are not even any seats where we could sit separated yet still see each other.  I will not leave Liana alone like that.

Right when I have reached my frustration limit, we reach the dining car. Why do I get so stressed out?  God always provides for our needs. But at this time 30 minutes have passed since we left the station and we are still wandering.  I see a beautiful conductor woman in the dining car.  I simply tell her we cannot find any seats.  She jumps into action, asking two women in the car to move their laptops over and tells Liana and me to sit down.  Then she points to a man and woman in the adjoining car that we can see.  She says they will be leaving at the next stop and to get up when we hear it called and take their seats.  She even takes our suitcases down next to these people.  What an angel she is!  So we end up with two very fine seats on the train. 

The best part of the trip is getting off the train and seeing my son in his white dress shirt, hugging him hard, and having him take over.  He carries our bags and loads us in his car.  We're here!  I can't wait to see my new grandson!

In conclusion, I highly recommend Amtrak travel.  The ride home on Sunday was so relaxing and comfortable.  Time flew by as we ate the yummy snacks Dominic had given us and played several games of Quiddler.  Once we got to Philadelphia, we saw that we had exactly two minutes to board the next local train.  And we made it!  When we pulled in our station, there was Fred waiting at the end of our journey.  Home!

Science Camp

The girls did not go to camp.  I did.  What was I thinking?  This I wrote at 5:27 a.m. on a Saturday morning:

I've already had a shower. Of the over 50 women in our bunkhouse, only one other person is up. Lights were out at 11 p.m. the night before, but I couldn't sleep. It was a hot, restless night in a sleeping bag on a bunk, a shelf really.  I was on the bottom near the floor, my friend above me, and another bunk above her. I could have been home in my own comfortable bed next to my husband!  But here I am at a women's retreat, a science camp, to learn fun ways to teach science to our kids.  I'm a science teacher.  This will be good. But I miss my family.

We arrived last night at a beautiful campsite in Amish country.  We checked in at the community center, a nice airy room with many long tables set up laden with fun stuff like science project kits, books, workbooks, colored pencils and huge tubs of chocolate.  They know what women like. We chose our t-shirts and claimed our bunks and then had a buffet dinner with the over 100 other women (two bunkhouses full) who also came to the retreat. There was a lot of food, wheat overload, so I couldn't eat much. So I had some cheese and my gluten-free crackers from home. Then we hiked down to the center for our first session.

Coffee, tea and hot chocolate would be provided 24/7!  Okay, this isn't so bad. We had fun meeting some of the other women, some who had driven over 5 hours from several other states to be here. We are all homeschooling mothers and teachers and we want to learn. I met women of all races with many different accents, young moms and old.  This night we sketched with our pencils, filling in anatomical drawings.  It was not so much to learn the information, but to learn how to present.  I often have my biology students sketch and color, so I guess I'm doing something right.  We found out all the interesting items on the tables are not for sale but are prizes!  Moms like prizes. Unfortunately I didn't win anything until the end when they said anyone who did not get a prize could go up and get one. I got a blood testing kit for Liana.  She has been wanting one.  The grand prize was a life size skeleton!  I would have loved that!  But to win it we had to decorate a plastic frog dissection apron.  When I saw the artistic skills of some of the women, I gave up trying. 

We sat and talked a long time after the session, hoping to get sleepy enough to crash once we got back to the bunkhouse. That didn't happen. I don't know how I'll make it through the day.

And the next day...

Breakfast, heavily processed, wheat everything.  Lunch the same. But at $25 for the whole weekend, I shouldn't complain about the food or the accommodations. We enjoy getting to know some of the women.  I sit next to a woman from Washington, D.C., a tall, elegant woman with long dreadlocks and a colorful scarf.  She just took her high school-aged son out of school.  He sounds brilliant and she wants to expose him to some of the many opportunities available to him in our capitol city.  Another woman told me her history of immigrating from South Africa as a young woman.  Two Chinese women from Connecticut with heavy accents were fascinated by my family and I loved hearing their stories. A strong, beautiful woman from rural West Virginia added another dimension to our conversation.These people made the event worthwhile.  So many women from such varied backgrounds but all of us with a common goal--to educate our children as we see fit, education specifically tailored around our families' values and our individual children's needs.  All these women are striving for excellence and want the best for their children.

Science all day!  9 a.m. to 6 p.m. with just a short lunch break. We did blood testing and extracted DNA from our cheek cells. I am full of ideas on how to make science more exciting for my girls and also for my students.  But my friend and I can't imagine another night in the bunkhouse.  So we bail out early and miss the dissection planned for Sunday morning.  (A pregnant sheep uterus. It would have been fascinating.) 

I am so happy to see my family again!  But now we are preparing for our next grand adventure.  More on that after it happens.

Yard Work

We had a very tall tree in our backyard that bent and swayed in the wind, looming over the roof every time we had a storm.  It was an accident waiting to happen. The trunk was rotting away, destroyed by carpenter ants. Fred finally called a tree service to have it taken down.

The four of us must have spent a good two hours watching the tree men.  Forget about school--this was far more educational and entertaining.  A crew arrived on time and got right to work.  The girls noted they all spoke Spanish, which we are trying to learn so we can understand.  The "climber" strapped on some kind of contraption to his shoes and he scooted up that tree as fast as a squirrel, all the time holding a big chainsaw in one hand!  He was not attached to any rope or anything else to secure him in case he fell.  He took the tree down branch by branch and then cut the trunk ABOVE his head.  He seemed to know just where it would fall.  The huge pieces of wood fell to the earth with tremendous force. Some speared the ground like giant daggers standing upright in the grass. The guys on the ground seemed to know just where the branches would land too because they were always in the right place out of the way.  The climber leapt from tree to tree, trimming other branches from nearby trees.  It was cold and windy and he would swing from side to side as the tree swayed, stepping out on impossibly small limbs to get the job done.  I went out on the deck to take a couple of pictures and then thought better of it.  I was afraid for his safety because then he seemed to show off a bit, taking more risks.  Whatever this man gets paid, it is not enough.  He has amazing skill and courage.  His talents will prevent damage to our home in the future. 

The rest of the crew sawed the branches, taking the small ones into their chipper and leaving nice logs for us to use as firewood.  They neatly cleaned up the yard and drove away all in about three hours, start to finish.  That included taking down one tree completely and trimming three others!  Such hardworking, efficient men. Fred has much work to do splitting all that wood.  But he doesn't mind.  We are thankful for this provisiion of fuel for next winter.  God always provides.  We rarely used our furnace this past winter because of other wood we were given. 

Now we are working on our vegetable garden.  On a lovely, warm, insect-free day we spent the afternoon in the garden.  Fred put up even MORE fencing, this time to keep out the rabbits.  We've fought the groundhogs and deer in previous years. The fence gets higher and deeper in the ground. The squirrels won their battle with the corn and we couldn't figure out any way to keep them out, so now we just don't plant corn.  Last summer the rabbits found a way in through very small openings in the mesh of the fence.  Fred is ready for them this season. Then as Fred tilled, the girls and I pulled out clots of weeds and grass.  The breeze was warm on our faces and the rich soil was cool to our hands.  Hands and knees, we crawled behind the tiller and it was joy to connect with our little piece of the earth. I raked the garden smooth and then planted our greens.  Swiss chard and collards, mesclun, spinach, arugula and escarole.  Another season of new life, nutritious food.  We are thankful for vigor and good health.

Headlong into Spring

Wait!  How can it be that winter is almost over?  That soon we will be planting a new garden and spending our evenings outdoors?  I'm still holding the stories of the first three months of this year that I haven't written.  Too much time has passed and the emotions of those events are hard to describe.  What I didn't write about:

My baby's 13th birthday!  How did this happen?  All of you with little babies right now--people tell you to enjoy these days because "they grow up so fast."  Believe me, it is true.  There is no way to recapture those lost days.  But Fred and I will rejoice in a new stage of life with two teenage daughters! 

On a wintry night in February with a Nor'easter moving in, we drove to our school for a talent show.  My Arielle played a beautiful song with our good friend Julia and one of my students on the drum. I was just getting used to my new camera and did not take any good pictures.  I even thought I'd taken a video, but no, it didn't work.

 

 

Also in February we celebrated Joey's first birthday.  It was a big party NOT at our house!  How liberating!  It was fun to all be together at Anthony and Kim's house.  They put out a big spread and welcomed us all. 

 

 

 

And now we come to Easter. It was a rainy, cold day and we had a wild egg hunt in the house.  Everyone brought good food and we made it a casual dinner.  Liana and the little girls played American Girl dolls (love it!) and Arielle joined the adult conversation.  This picture was not taken at my house, but little Jordan portrays my sentiments exactly at the end of the evening.

 

 

Our newest family member was missing from this celebration!  We will be leaving soon to meet baby Caden. I can't wait until he is here in Pennsylvania to meet his many cousins and join in the fun.









The Thousandth Gift

Ever since I read Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, I have been keeping a list.  I have tried to cultivate a habit of gratitude to God in myself and my children, instead of complaint that comes so naturally.  We are so blessed!  My pages and pages of scribbled gifts remind me.  So I have reached One Thousand now.   There have been many more that I neglected to record or neglected to even see.  But let me share my thousandth:

996.  A day with Deacon and getting to know my little grandson better
997.  Watching The Bible together on TV
998.  Spring birds singing as we all anticipate the end of winter
999.  A feast of abundant food that God provides

1000.  My new grandson Caden River is born on March 3, 2013!

I have ten grandchildren now!  (One we are still waiting to see.)  But each new little one is like it was the very first. I can't wait to meet baby Caden. God is so good to our family and we continue to grow.  My list continues...

 

Involuntary Fast

I can't believe February is over.  What have we done?  I've been too busy to write, which means too busy to think.  Because if I am thinking, I always have lots to write about. 

I was in the middle of an interesting conversation with my step-mother.  She was filling me in on some ancestors I never knew and giving me details about my father that makes me realize I wasn't missing much by never knowing him.  She sent two boxes of his stuff that she doesn't want.  While I'm talking to her, Fred comes home from work with a big Chipotle bag!  It's going to be a great dinner!  He is so generous to stop and buy us all burrito bowls. (And Fred doesn't even like them.) I can't wait to eat.

Suddenly I actually feel like a whirlwind is spinning in my brain and I'm dizzy.  That begins a very long and lonely night on the cold bathroom tile floor.  Norovirus!  Within hours I hear Arielle upstairs.  She is in the same shape I'm in.  And I can't even go and help her because I'm so weak I can't walk up the stairs.  The next day Liana falls to the virus too.  Then Fred.  Sickness has a way of ending all plans and nothing seems important except getting well. We have no desire to read or watch TV or even talk to each other. Due to the nature of this virus, we also have no desire whatsoever to eat.  For days.  The Chipotle we longed for gets thrown away uneaten.  Life stops. 

While I'm sick I think about food and how I don't care about eating anymore.  Normally, our lives revolve around meals: the planning, the preparing, the cleaning up.  Now nothing.  I feel like my head clears and I can think better without food.  When we do begin to eat again, we eat slowly and thoughtfully. I never want to go back to mindlessly stuffing my face with food.  It seems obscene now.  

Our first real meal is soup I prepared to replenish our purged bodies and souls-- a soup of organic kale, tomatoes, carrots from our summer garden, and white beans.  We even have a small dessert of Cara Cara oranges.  I don't think any meal has ever tasted more delicious.

I would hope to never crave again counterfeit food over the riches God provides that grow on this good earth he gave us.  Is that the lesson to be learned from our fast?  My daughter-in-law Gretchen brought over kefir and got me started on making my own.  It is a potent tonic to restore our health and boost our immune systems.  Here is my first batch.  Anyone want a taste?  

A Few Good Men

My husband left the house at 3:30 a.m. to plow and salt the church parking lot.  He works so hard.  Besides his full-time job, he is always looking for side jobs to bring in extra money.  He is always doing some sort of work at home too, fixing, repairing, improving.  I'm ashamed to say he is quick to do a job I forgot to do, and he never complains about it.  Even this snowy day he calls from work to say, "Wait for me to get home and we'll all go outside and have fun in the snow together."  Have fun?  It's his way of saying we girls don't have to shovel the driveway and deck and sidewalk.  He will do it later.  But, of course, we don't wait.  To honor him we make sure the work is done before he gets home.  We're an efficient team and we anticipate him arriving home with no more work to do. 

The girls are happy to help their dad because he sets the example for generosity.  Fred and I learned a marriage principle that really works.  We try to outdo one another in showing love and respect.  But Fred wins every time.  He is the sacrificial one.

My brother was in town on business and came for dinner.  He said his 18 year old daughter--my niece--has made a list qualities she hopes to find in a potential husband.  If she's looking for high ideals, she need only look to her father.  Like Fred, my brother is a good man:  generous, wise, loving, helpful, and respectful to his wife and children.  My own daughters can look to their father too.  I hope none of these girls will settle for less.

Fred recently won an award at work.  He was voted the man most willing to help out wherever needed.  He is what the Bible describes and our church calls a servant-leader, leading others, whether employees or family, with respect and humility.  It means being willing to dig in and work alongside others, never regarding himself as being too superior to do the dirty work.  "But whoever would be great among you must be your servant."  Words of Jesus.  (Matthew 20:26)

I know a few other good men, my sons for example.  They work hard and take good care of their families.  I am honored that all of these men are part of my family.

Generations

My daughter-in-law Gretchen came over early so we could all cook together and prepare for Stacia's baby shower.  Gretchen brought Jordan and put her in a little swinging baby seat where she could bounce around and watch us all.  Gretchen is a great cook and she started preparing her soups.  Then she arranged beautiful flowers in vases and decorated the dining room with the girls helping her. Each of us would stop in our work to love on Jordan in her swing.  Gretchen created a hot cocoa bar with whipped cream and crushed cinnamon candies.  What a sweet treat! I am not good at entertaining or planning, so I was so grateful for all the help.  When Jordan got fussy and was put in her baby chair, Liana rocked her to sleep.  All these girls in our family are so efficient and talented. 

At one point in our bustling around I recognized God's gift of this particular morning. I had so many little boys at one time and took such pleasure in their childhood and boyish activity.  Now here are my tiny granddaughter, my two daughters, and my daughter-in-law, all of us working together in one room, the conversation light, anticipating the fun of the shower.  Why am I so blessed?  Gretchen said one day we will be doing this in the future, but the roles will be changed.  Jordan will be the one rocking someone's baby, Gretchen will be the old mom and my girls will be the young moms at the stove.  Maybe I won't be there at all.  But that's okay.  It's how it's meant to be.  Others carrying on the family traditions.  Others carrying the faith.  "One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts."  (Psalm 145)  We must not forget to tell the stories of God's blessings.

Our house fills with women, family and friends. Joey, almost one year old now, practices his new walking skills while we all cheer him on. Then it's a wonderful celebration of a new mama and a new baby to come. Life is good.  God is gracious.

Christmas 2012

The Old and the New

We ended 2012 with a celebration of God's goodness toward us and our families.  The girls and Fred and I have our own New Year's Eve tradition and as we ate our seafood feast, we reflected on our gifts.  First, the gift of life.  We indeed have another year to celebrate!  I think of the year 2004 when I was very sick with my mysterious lung condition.  A top doctor at a top hospital diagnosed me with a terminal disease.  I had never heard of it, so I looked it up.  To my devastation I saw that the prognosis was poor and most people who had it did not live past 7 years.  My girls were so little!  But the doctor was wrong and God has given me many more years.  Fred's broken leg and then his surgical incident didn't stop us for long either.   I am very grateful for the full and rich lives God has given us.

We had another wonderful gathering of family for Christmas too.  Babies!  What joy in our lives!  Jordan in her Santa suit and Joey in his pjs adorned with Christmas lights. The food, the crazy chaos, the laughter, the gift wrap everywhere while Fred walked around compulsively with a black trash bag.  The week of school break brought staying-in family time with rousing games of Catan and Wizard and us overeating all the leftover snack food we normally don't have.  New Year's Day gave us dear friends who moved to California years ago, but still return to bless us with their sweet children and good friendship.  Our traditional New Year's pork loin and sauerkraut (in honor of my Polish husband) became Korean Braised Beef over rice (in honor of them). 

Then right when we were going back to work, the girls and I had fun taking care of Jordan.  Arielle and Liana are going to be great mothers someday.  They are both so nurturing and loving.  We loved on that baby all afternoon!  What a gift she is to our family!

So now we are back in our school routine, and teaching my classes at the co-op is looming.  I have yet to crack the books.  It's so hard to break out of that lazy cycle we've been indulging in.  Both girls battled with the Sabouri Brothers today as they did math and Algebra II. (Teaching Textbooks.)  Arielle has a science fair project due in two weeks, but she is distracted by a winter formal coming up.  But we remember, life is good!  Every day is good!  We've already just about used up four days in 2013!  Did we treasure each one?  Did we bless others?  Did we waste our precious time here on earth? 

My New Year's resolution comes from Proverbs 3:27 and Galatians 6:10:  "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."  "So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone..."  I don't want to withhold a blessing when it is in my power to give one.  Feel free to call me on this one if I am not doing right.  I really want to be a blessing.  Only through God's grace.

I had pictures...Blogger won't let me upload for some reason. Maybe later.

Rejoice!

I couldn't leave this blog on such a bitter note right before Christmas.  God is good, giving a message of hope.

We went to church at a later service than we normally attend.  As we watched the people enter the sanctuary, I was amazed by the diversity.  I always felt somewhat uneasy about the majority of white, wealthy folks that filled our church when we first started coming years ago.  But today, especially, I noticed the rich variety of colors and races and cultures walking down the aisles, crowding into the pews.  It seemed only fitting that our first hymn was:

"O come, Desire of nations, bind
All people in one heart and mind;
Bid envy, strife, and quarrels cease;
Fill the whole world with heaven's peace;
Rejoice! Rejoice!..."

The pastor read from Isaiah 9, that familiar passage we all know: "For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace."

Many aren't so familiar with the chapter before, when the Assyrians invaded and Israel was razed.  Chapter 8 ends with, "They will pass through the land, greatly distressed and hungry.  And when they are hungry, they will be enraged and will speak contemptuously against their king and their God, and turn their faces upward.  And they will look to the earth, but behold, distress and darkness, the gloom of anguish.  And they will be thrust into darkness."  God is at war with us when we rebel against him and we will live in gloom and misery. 

Yet, into chapter 9, "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined." When we realize our desperate situation, we will come come to the light and be healed and be saved.

"O come, O come, Immanuel..."  Immanuel, God with us.  He has come.  He is here now. God sent light and redemption through his Son. We have much reason to rejoice!

Just My Thoughts...

Like everyone else, I'm just trying to make sense of what is senseless.  We want answers and explanations about how this tragedy in Connecticut could happen.  And we are outraged!  And angry, and we want someone to blame.  Because if we could just figure out who exactly is to blame, we could prevent this from happening again.

Job 12:5 says, "In the thought of one who is at ease there is contempt for misfortune."  Those of us living (momentarily) in peace and safety would like to say that calamity cannot come to us because we have our lives in order and we are not like "those people."  Every single day we hear of shootings on the streets of our big city. This thinking insures our continued perfect life. But when tragedy happens to ordinary people, it shakes our world.

In my anger, I've tried to find blame too.  I came up with the conclusion that this latest massacre is a culmination of all that is wrong with our society.  So who or what can we blame?  First thought, of course, is to blame the shooter.  But we can't do that because he has a psychiatric disorder.  People are not responsible for their behavior if they have a diagnosis, and the list just keeps getting longer.

1. The media?  We live in a culture that glorifies violence in movies, on TV, and in video games played incessantly by impressionable teenage boys.  Violent themes abound, because people want this and are willing to pay for it.

2.  Guns?  Why can people go into a store and buy military-style assault weapons?  For deer hunting?  For home defense?  Let's make this political and ban guns and all will be well in the world.

3.  Public education?  It has just about succeeded in eliminating the Christian faith from every aspect of a child's life during the six hours he is sitting in a classroom. 

4.  Public education, again.  Aren't schools supposedly on the lookout for troubled kids who need help?  Why wasn't this young man given the resources and the help he so obviously needed.  But I bet the school had a great sports program.

5.  Broken families?  We heard the guy had an absent father and a mother who spent her time in bars or on the shooting range with her troubled son.  Parents oblivious to the needs of their children.  This one cuts into my heart. 

6.  Our environment?  Why do we have so many damaged kids to begin with?  What is in our air, our water, our food that causes young children to develop autism and ADD and a host of other behavior issues that no one seems to understand?  We're breathing toxins, swallowing toxins, absorbing toxins, and injecting our kids with toxins.  They're drowning in them.  And we're surprised when things go wrong in their brains.

7.  Big corporations?  When researchers try to find causes for all that ails American children, they are silenced and ridiculed if their conclusions affect the bottom dollar.

8.  Relativism?  All points of view are equally valid.  We don't want anyone to take offense.   There are no more moral values. There is no right or wrong.  But wait!  I think we most all agree that killing 6 years olds is wrong!   On that common ground, can't we do SOMETHING to try to prevent tragedies like this?

But no, we cannot.  We live in this world we've created and we suffer the consequences of it.

Some may say, you forgot to blame God.  When we want to absolve ourselves in any role we may have played, we say it was God who allowed it.  And he did.  I have no answers for that, and when Job tried to find the answer to his suffering, God's responded by asking him questions.  We draw conclusions about God because of what has been revealed to us, not accounting for all that is hidden from us.  When Jesus saw the suffering of Lazarus's family, he wept.  He cares; he knows. When Jesus looked out upon the city on the way to his own death, he cried, "Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it!  How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!  See, your house is left to you desolate."  (Matthew 23:37, 38.)

More Sounds

Two days after Arielle's birthday some of my much-loved women friends joined me for a Christmas brunch at church.  Every year hundreds of women come together to eat rich food, to enjoy beautiful candle-lit table settings and great conversations, and to hear various types of speakers.  We never quite know what the speaker will be like, and some are better than others.  But the main point of this gathering is to just have a good time with friends and be surrounded by all the trappings of the holiday season. I love it!  And men in white shirts serve us! That always makes me smile.  Like my friend Helen said, "I can come here and nothing is expected of me."  We can just relax and get out of our regular, hectic life routine.

We toured the tables when we arrived, each decorated by a different woman who volunteered to bring in her best china and centerpiece.  We talked and ate ham and pastries and fruit.  Then we headed down to the sanctuary to hear the speaker.  All we knew about her was that she was a 9/11 widow.  What a dynamic speaker she was!  I wish I could remember all that she said. Her points were so right and true. Her story was by turns tragic and funny, but always honest and deep.  We were blessed this morning!  Testimony--another sound of this Christmas season.  People giving testimony to God's goodness in the face of suffering and loss.  I wish I could quote the one phrase she repeated several times.  Something about when the whys of life torment us and when the unknowns of the future scare us, we need to remember that what we already know about God is enough to trust him for whatever is to come.  This idea keeps coming to mind.  I've walked with Jesus a long time.  Once I left him, but he took me back.  God has revealed himself in incredible ways through the years.  I don't have all the answers, but I have enough to know that this verse is true: "the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you--so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.  God is faithful, to whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." I Corinthians 1.

Did you notice all the times the name of Jesus is proclaimed in that one verse?  I didn't notice until I typed it.  I give testimony to his name!  It is powerful; it is divisive; it is a stumbling block.  But... "God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."  Philippians 2. 

Sounds of the Season

Arielle's birthday was joyous.  We celebrated with family a week earlier, so the actual day of her birthday was just hers to enjoy. She wanted to go to the mall (of course) and we had a mom-sister-daughter day full of laughter and fun. In the evening our friend Julia came over so the girls could practice for their concert at the retirement center on Sunday.  I came into Arielle's  crowded room and sat on the floor to hear them rehearse.  The lovely sounds of their guitars blending together as they played old carols made Christmas perfect for me. If that was all, it would be enough. Thank you, Arielle, for this gift.

 

For her birthday, I gave Arielle a different kind of gift.  It was a journal I kept since she was a baby. I started it at the time of our trip to China and then occasionally I would write more as she grew. Unfortunately, I kind of forgot about it in later years. We moms get busy and sometimes neglect what might be most beneficial to just get through the urgent needs of the day. Anyway, I hoped the journal would bless Arielle, that she would know how precious she was and still is to us.  I didn't even know if she would be interested in plowing through all that mom-baby talk.  I added one more entry at the end, for her 15th birthday.

On her birthday night I kissed her good-night with the full moon shining through her window and lighting up her beautiful face. She hugged me tight and said the journal was her best gift.  If there was ever any doubt, she now KNOWS how much she is loved!  Gift received.

On a bigger scale, do we sometimes live our lives wondering if our God really loves us?   Christmas is the time to remember that God sent his son to give us the gift of himself--to adopt us into his family, to love us unconditionally, and to be with us forever, even beyond the grave.  We need to reach out and receive this gift.  Read God's love letter to us and be blessed this season.