This must be another milestone. It was sad for me to unplug their childhood clocks and replace them with square, fluorescent digital clocks with no nightlight, which means I can't see their sleeping faces when I check on them in the middle of the night. Maybe they don't need checking anymore.
Arielle is almost as tall as I am now. She rides in the front seat. Another milestone. Liana doesn't need her booster anymore. Where did my little girls go? My adorable, chubby babies with the colorful barrettes in their shiny black hair? Fred cleaned out the storage room and took the big plastic wagon out to the shed to be used now for gardening. As he rolled it out the backdoor, my heart broke. Fred knows we won't ever again be rattling down the boardwalk with the girls in the wagon, both of them giggling in the cool breeze of the evening after a day in the sun at the beach.
Maybe all this struck me this week because I have been going through old boxes, sorting through the memorabilia of my little boys' lives so long ago. I found soccer trophies and an old Pinewood derby car. More trophies for Raingutter Regatta winners, plaques and ribbons of every color for track meets and writing contests and orchestra events. I searched for the boys' names in old, yellow newspaper clippings. I found school report cards and standardized test results that seemed so important at the time, but now are meaningless. Who cares if you made an A or a B in high school biology? I laughed when I pulled out an old postcard that Dominic wrote when he spent a few weeks in North Carolina with his best friend when he was maybe 10 or 11. His postcard reads, "It is fun here. I almost got my ear chopped off, almost drowned in the ocean, and almost got killed by a tornado. " The next line, "Brad and I chewed 8 packs of gum." Dominic always loved the drama!
Arielle and Liana, who are always in trouble for bickering with each other, were delighted to discover Dominic's eyewitness account of a battle between his two younger brothers. Dominic meticulously recorded a word-for-word narrative of what I'm sure was a typical day in the life at home with my boys. The chaos! The noise! My rough and tumble boys! I miss them so much.
I found lots of creative writing assignments the boys wrote through the years. These are small windows into their minds as they grew up. Jon, full of ideas even back then, had words of praise written across the pages by teachers who appreciated his talent. Damien's stories were always short and to the point. He had better things to do than silly writing projects. Nick had quite the imagination. He won a short story contest in high school. It was supposed to be a true story, but I guess real life was too boring, so he made up a "true" account. Dominic's writings were more serious, essays on freedom and government.
Best of all I found volumes of funny, sweet cards the boys made for me through the years. Not just for birthdays, but for Valentine's Day and the Fourth of July, Easter and Christmas. Cards that were cleverly cut and glued and colored with pencils or crayons. Oh, what a fortunate mom I was to receive such gifts! And I am still so fortunate. Yes, I miss my little ones, but I have my grown-up sons and my growing up girls. Life is rich. My heart aches with each milestone passed, but each day brings new treasures, and years from now these things will be the precious memories.
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