A little girl's dream

"I want to be a teacher when I grow up." That's all I ever remember saying about my future goals when I was a child. I loved learning and thought everyone else did too. My little brothers and sister were my students and I would give them "work" to do, although they were not always enthusiastic about doing it.

In college I was distracted pursuing other interests and gave up my dream. Then came children (three), and then financial difficulties that led me to nursing school. My dad always told me I was useless and would never amount to anything, so it was "Here's to you, Dad!" as I graduated at the top of my class. And I felt very useful when I worked at the hospital. But another baby came along and I left nursing to be just a mom at home. My years with my little boys on the windy plains of Oklahoma were among the best of my life.

Later the need to support myself again brought me back to school. A difficult marriage made me once again feel useless and stupid. I went to chiropractic school and graduated at the top of my class. "Here's to all of you negative voices from my past!" The boys were older now and I became Miss Career Woman. I admire women who have careers, but for me, I felt I was just pretending, and I wasn't entirely comfortable in that role. Then tiny Chinese faces from the other side of the world tore at my heart.

Never was my desire so great or my focus more intense than when I worked to bring my girls home. This was my true calling--to be a mother to my children. Nothing else ever fulfilled or satisfied. When I was a little girl and wanted to be a teacher, I never thought I would be teaching a class of two. That might not seem like much, but it is enough. I have all I ever wanted, and I have nothing else to prove.

My dream is not yours. So what is yours? Are you living it? Fulfill your calling whatever it may be at this time in your life. God never gives us the whole picture--a panoramic view of our entire lives. We have just enough light to illuminate the next step. So take that step and then you'll see the one after it.

So is this the end for me? I've finally found my place in the world and we all live happily ever after? I'll never presume that. I might be driven back into the workforce again someday. But for now, in this season of my life, I'm right where God wants me. It's the only place to find peace.

I hope I can one day pray as Jesus did, "I have brought You glory on earth by completing the work You gave me to do." John 17:4.