Fireproof: Dare 1

I signed up for a women's study at church called "Fireproof Your Marriage." It is a three week course to watch the movie Fireproof and then have table discussion. We also have homework--The Love Dare journal. From the book--"...love is a decision and not just a feeling. It is selfless, sacrificial, and transformational. And when love is truly demonstrated as it was intended, your relationship is more likely to change for the better." Each day we read about one aspect of love and then are challenged to a dare to do for our husbands. The class started Wednesday.

When we arrived we had to write our husband's name on an index card and list five characteristics that we admire in him. We keep this card in front of us during discussions to remind us of his good qualities when we might be tempted to complain about him. I wrote these things about Fred: hard-working, affectionate, decisive, generous, and friendly to others. As soon as I wrote these down, I had my first revelation. These five things I AM NOT! I do not have Fred's attributes. He is my opposite, my complement. How amazing.

The movie is great! If you have not seen it, plan a date night with your husband and watch together. Tissues were tossed back and forth among the women at my table. We told why we came to this class. One woman seems to have some difficulties in her marriage. A few had seen the movie, enjoyed it, and wanted to talk about it. I really didn't want to come. I want to finish school with my girls and not be interrupted with going out in the middle of the week. But I think Fred is worth the effort and I don't want to be complacent about my marriage. We could all use a tune-up.

I was excited to have my quiet time today and begin reading the journal. Day 1: Love is Patient. "When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger..." The Dare: The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."

Scripture for this day: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with on another in love." Ephesians 4:2.

That shouldn't be too hard, I thought. Fred had just left for his classes and I thought back over our brief exchange so far this morning. No, I hadn't said anything negative. Off to a good start! He called me from school later, said he would go to the fruit market on the way home. A big burden off my schedule today. When he got home I hugged him and thanked him. I'm doing great with this "dare."

The girls and I were finishing up school. Fred had gone outside and I heard him start the tiller. We had just bought some seedlings, so I thought he was preparing the soil for them. It was a very windy day with a storm coming. Large branches had already fallen from the trees, thudding in the grass. When school ended, I went outside to talk to Fred. He had planted most of the fragile plants. He did a great job, except the wind threatened to rip them from the ground! I said the first thing that came to mind, "Fred, are you crazy? Why are you planting them now?" I know I hurt him. He had little cages around the tomatoes and peppers and eggplants. The fine soil was mounded up on each stem. He had worked so hard. I suggested we cover the cages with something to protect the tiny plants. He brought out some black cloth he had used to stop weeds last year and silently we cut it up and taped it around the cages and made little tents.

I failed the first day. In an attempt to be inclusive of many readers (I guess), this Love Dare journal neglected to warn us that any attempt to transform our lives in our own strength will be futile. Tomorrow I will pray that the Holy Spirit will do a work in my life and help me to be patient with my husband.

Anyone up for the challenge? I will post the dare for the day in bold print as I get to it.