I told Fred to tell me three things I do that irritate him. He looked at me as if I was crazy. He's thinking I must want to start a fight! Then he said, "First tell me something I do." No, I'm not going there. I say this isn't about him, just that if I am doing something that irritates him, I want to stop. He goes outside to work in the garden while he thinks about it. I come outside and ask him but he says, "I'm not going to tell you now!"
Inside he still says nothing. I ask if he's thought about it. He says yes. He can only think of one thing. He says I too often let things interrupt the girls' schooling. People ask me to do things and I can't say no. So I agree to try not to let that happen anymore. I'm sure he is thinking of other things, but he won't say! This is because from past experience he knows I am so defensive. I had decided not to say a word, no matter what he told me. But it was a little scary thinking about what he might say. I give him credit. If something was on his mind, he decided it was not worth telling me about. He extended grace to me and he is allowing me to be flawed and is not trying to correct me.
Anyone else? Did this dare bother you?
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