Faithful God

I wonder if most moms are like me--children's birthdays bring back memories of their baby days. Two of my children have birthdays coming in the next few days. Liana will be 10 and I have been thinking about that chubby baby who screamed for two hours when she first met her new mother. My second son Dominic has been on my mind too, especially after church yesterday when we sang that old classic hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness."

I am reluctant to admit it, but I never liked that hymn. I love the message and the scripture it refers to that comes from the book of Lamentations. But the song is slow and seems to drag. But maybe it has never been my favorite because I always associate it with the night before my son was born.

I had gone to a Bible study that evening with the guilt-ridden aunt of my derelict first husband. When I was pregnant with Dominic, my husband left me and my first son behind because he didn't want the responsibility of a family. I had to return to my parents' house to live. It was not a good situation. My mother had a baby of her own and my dad resented having to support me when my deadbeat husband should have been doing that job. My husband's family tried to help out as they could. They were a good family and were dismayed over their wayward son. So that's why I was in a church basement with Aunt Rocky when the group closed with the hymn "Great Is Thy Faithfulness." I was in labor but hadn't told anyone. I was alone, afraid, forsaken.

Later that night I could not sleep because of the pain, and I stayed up suffering alone in the dark. In the morning my mother took me to the hospital. I labored alone among strangers, gave birth alone, and two days later went back to my parents' home where it was clear I had to soon move out and be forever alone--in my mind. When you're young you think life is over when any adversity comes along. I was very frightened. Where would I go from here? How could I support myself and my two little ones?

The next few years were more difficult than anything I could have imagined or anything I've ever experienced since. It wasn't just hard for me, but for my children too. They were fatherless, and often motherless, since I worked so much. Many times they were left alone with near strangers. But our God is a faithful God. Jesus promised his disciples when they were afraid and alone, "I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you." (John 14:18) God never failed to provide all we ever needed.

Dominic, the baby born that incredibly lonely night, grew to be a fine man. All during his childhood he had an unusual blessing on his life. Everything he touched turned to gold-- really. He excelled at every venture. Illnesses were miraculously healed. When doors were shut to him, new ones opened. Difficulties quickly turned around. He was "lucky". He would find money; he would win contests--from writing essays to racing Pinewood Derby cars, to guessing jelly beans in a jar. Even now, Dominic is doing great things in his career. The work he does is changing the world. God has always had a plan and a purpose for his life and continues to lead him. God is faithful to him.

God has been faithful to me too. I would need a book to tell of his kindness, mercy and gentleness to me throughout my entire life. "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23) Why do we worry? What exactly has God promised? "I will be their God, and they shall be my people...and I will be a father to you and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty." (II Corinthians 6:16, 18) Dominic and I were both deprived of having an earthly father who loved us. But our heavenly father always takes good care of us.

God has also promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) I have changed my mind about that hymn. Instead of a reminder of a night of despair, I will remember with gratefulness how God led me through that dark valley. I will remember his blessings on each member of our large family. God takes trouble and tragedy and hardship and turns it to healing and hope and joy.

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS." (Lamentations 3:21-23)